Free Time? What's That?

10 days away from the grind is more than manna from heaven. I managed to get 9 whole days at home and they whizzed past as all good things do.

As I talk about home and realize that I miss my folks and my little sister, I can't help but rewind back to when this blog started. I hated home and anything even remotely related to it. But life works in mysterious ways and I count the days to when I can go home again. It's a combination of 2 soppy sentences I have heard time and again and have only now come to relate to. "Distance makes the heart grow fonder" and "The home is where the heart is" manage to capture what I feel right now.

I know it's been ages since I wrote. Honestly, I missed it. Many a times I was itching to write a post, but something or the other kept coming in the way. To justify my position, all I can say is that the 3 weeks preceding my end term exams were weeks with no holidays. The coveted Sunday was snatched away as extra classes were held. With not even a day's break before exams, I was exhausted by the time I reached back home.

But now that the term has just begun I am rejuvenated and can manage to salvage a little time to pen down my thoughts, feelings and experiences. With Summer Placements right around the corner and mid term exams following closely, I wonder how much time I will ultimately have.

But I'm not complaining. In fact, I enjoy the commotion and the skurrying around. As they say "An empty mind is a devil's workshop". Luckily, my time hasn't come yet!!!

What's Become of the World?

I have an exam tomorrow, and am at a loss. A dilemma presents itself. Should I sleep or stay awake through the night? The latter will ensure that I am rested, but will also put an end to studying. If I choose to stay awake, it will result in anything but time well spent. Not a word will be assimilated.

As I sit staring at my computer screen I wonder where I am and why I try so hard. Life takes you to places you never expect to see. It's definitely a bumpy ride, and you can never get used to the journey. That's the bad part about it. As soon as you settle down and accept things for how they are, something comes and shakes it all up for you.

The most radical changes are usually seen in the people around you. Take, for instance, a certain professor who was feared last year. A mere 6 months down the line he was an angel. I was taken aback and as I came to accept and appreciate the man, things changed. The exam paper he set for us was disturbing to say the very least. But then, perhaps I'm biased. Another professor was known to be someone who thought out of the box. Sticking to the age-old education system was not what he seemed to believe in. However, as he teaches me this year, I can see that he is not the person I expected him to be. I don't have a personal frame of reference, but I think it should suffice that I've discussed the situation with people familiar with his teaching style.

But then one thing keeps bothering me. Have I changed too?

A Year Older, But Wiser?

'Twas my birthday yesterday. I'm glad I got to ring it in the way I wanted. A nice and peaceful get together with the people I am closest to on campus. There was a little tension in the air between some friends. But it was all overshadowed by the fact that their presence there despite any personal problems meant the most to me. I was awoken from slumber to be greeted and wished by everyone at my door. I sorted myself as well as I could and made myself presentable. The cake, needless to say, was mindblowing!!!

The plan for the evening was to comprise of a quiet dinner with "him" and "the beard". That was cut short by a downpour and poor infrastructure (at a bakery!!!).

In the meantime, I've been trying to get my bearings right on campus (again!!!). Trust me, it's not easy being me. I have unsuccessfully juggled being with both batches. It's so much easier to pretend like nothing's changed and that I'm still a part of the batch of 2006. But as I see my new batchmates around me it finally hits home that they're the people I'll be studying and interacting with for the next 2 years. So I take a deep breath and make an effort to be a part of them. I give up somewhere down the line and slip back to square one. That's not the way it's meant to be.

Strength

I met an old college classmate online last night. It's been 2 years since I spoke to her. I believe that everything that happens does so for a reason. Last night's chance meeting has left me stunned.

We were not very close in college. In fact, we barely ever spoke. I think we knew each other only because of the fact that we were in the same section. Honestly, I don't know all the girls in the other section. Thankfully, I knew everyone in mine. With about 35 girls in my class, I was close to only a handful. The friend I met last night had to retake the 2nd year in college. So, after studying together for 2 years, she went on leave. While I attended college in my final year, she stayed at home and studied. She rejoined after I graduated last year. I met her a couple of times in the vague visits I made to college to collect my marksheet and documents. It was nice to see her, but it left no lasting impression.

Last week I received a forwarded mail to an online group that I have subscribed to. While scrolling down the window I came across a few familiar names. I saw this girl's name there and added her to my messenger list immediately. Little did I know that she'd surprise me beyond belief.

She came online last night and as we caught up on our lives, I was left astonished. Not only had she picked herself up and moved on with her life, but she worked like hell and is now on her way to IIM Indore. The one year lost in between has been forgotten and she has more than redeemed herself. Strength is what I saw in her yesterday and I can truly saw that I have learnt something from someone. Inspired, I have realised how trivial my situation is. Instead of complaining and running down the system, I should channel all that energy into something fruitful. So L, it's about time I arrived!!!

The One That Scared Me

Ayn Rand terrified me as a child. The size of her books with the tiny print seemed like an invitation to hours of boredom. But now, having thoroughly enjoyed Atlas Shrugged a few months ago, I am ready to devour The Fountainhead. Surprisingly, I studied excerpts from Rand's books in my final year in college. Economics does expose you to a lot of good writing!!!