Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Men...


Can't live with them, can't live without them. However, at the moment I am inclined to wanting to live without them. A couple of events on campus at L have forced me to revisit my feminist days at college.

Fresh out of school, quivering and secretly excited at the thought of all the freedom college life brought to you, 500 girls walked into the red building that would be a second home to us for the following 3 years. The famous "cafe", the lush green lawns, the "ruins", the comfortable common room, and sitting in the "gazebos" in the rain are memories that cannot be erased. On the first day of college, we collected in the "audi" for the orientation speech by our principal. Her long speech was the standardized sermon that all orientations demanded, but one of the sentences she spoke made everyone forget their fears and applaud. She said something to the tune of, "We're not feminists here, we can't be, because we can't deny that we love men!!!" I was home...

5 years later, I doubt I can ever look at a man with respect anymore (barring my father, grandfathers, et al). I cannot comment about men in other countries, but Indian men I can definitely talk about. Brought up in a society where female infanticide and female foeticide are terms used nonchalantly in conversations, it isn’t surprising that men consider themselves to be the superior gender. Nothing in this country points towards putting men and women on the same platform.

Whenever a woman is raped, the first reaction of men is that “she asked for it”. How on earth can a man even think that way? How low can one go to disrespect a woman?

Look at L itself. With the women constituting barely 10% of the population here, it is pretty obvious who wears the pants in this community. While men walk around in shorts and singlets, looking their worst, women are looked down upon for wearing a sleeveless top. I talk from personal experience when I say that I was pulled up for wearing a top that was considered offensive by some. A plain white top which fell off my shoulder showed as much skin as a regular top would. But some men were offended and chose to complain to student authorities and I was told to “dress more tastefully”. Funny though, my opinion was not asked, nor was I asked to explain my situation. The men were considered right. And if you think that was justified, I leave your opinion to yourself. But what baffles me is how that incident warranted a topic of discussion on the social community Orkut portraying me as the most “dirty” woman on campus. Only when it was brought to the notice of a “special someone” the posts were removed.

Rumours galore fly around campus, always about the women here. The new batch has been here all of 2 weeks and there are horrible, false stories about the girls everywhere. Harassment is an understatement here.

“Sour grapes” is the only explanation most of us have for these deprived, low, shallow men. And I hand it to all women, who manage to live through leers, whistles, eve teasing and harassment every single day. With people like this around me, it only goes to prove who the weaker sex is.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

PK u r quite rite.. its jst that "sour grapes" thing. there are girls who wear skimpier clothes .. not to mention guys.. the most "distasteful" of the lot.
i feel u shud wear whatever u r comfortable. i believe student council has no rite to question what u wear.. let the profs decide the dress code.. if need be..

Anonymous said...

will u ever look at the brighter side in life?? ... how can u ignore the men you stood by you ??
...and please do not make the mistake of calling the enuches as men...


- a well wisher

Anonymous said...

prerna, much as i feel that you have been wronged and have been part of the unjustified system, yet i also firmly believe it not right to label the whole male community as you have.

not all of us are like that. believe me there are more who respect and admire you and your guts than against.

Anonymous said...

Whenever a woman is raped, the first reaction of men is that “she asked for it”.

U r mixin ur emotions to drive home ur point.. While I feel sorry that student council has been harsh to u, u r doing no good by exaggerating.. The above statement being the case in point.. Show me just 10 men whom u heard sayin this... I condemn what student council did to you.. In our insti it never works that way.. I am just comin from party where girls and boys mixed so freely that u will wonder if this India :)

Anonymous said...

Hey,

I thought I will speak to you about this but somehow decided against it. Firstly, Council cannot dictate what you do. Guess this one is filled with idiots. So you need to tell them as much.

Secondly, the posts on Orkut though made anonymously are easily trackable. Here's how:

1. Every post has a URL and time stamp. Get hold of both.
2. Find out which IP logged the URL first and if it matches the time stamp. Can be done pretty easily if you have a contact in CC or Synapse. Also, the posts can be made only by members which can be an additional parameter to tally off.
3. You can put the moderator in the dock if you wish. He is culpable too!

Issues such as these are pretty serious and you might be aware a PGP 18 was thrown out for similar offence.

The campus though libertarian will not tolerate viscious personal attacks lest it degenerate into a free-for-all.

So next time you find some such thing happening take it up.

Anonymous said...

Beauty is the voice of my father.
Beauty is the laugh of my son.
Beauty is the plea of a sinner
when he says, All my wicked deeds are done.

The words they put inside your mouth don't mean a thing.
It's in your mind
It's in your mind
Beauty is in your mind- Your own.

So I say, So I say
Anger does not pay
Anger does not stay
Delay it from display
In time it will only go away

Calmness you should play
Before you begin to fall astray

Anonymous said...

Hi, it definitely is stunning to know how L campus / life till now has treated you. You might be correct in you observations, but unjustified in generalizing those impressions onto "each & every" man.

There ARE some REALLY good people (men, all right) out there, you will sure meet lots of them, befriend them and you will feel rejuvenated. Dont trust any1 right away, but kindly dont be so prejudiced and venomous ...

Anonymous said...

"A plain white top which fell off my shoulder showed as much skin as a regular top would. But some men were offended and chose to complain to student authorities and I was told to “dress more tastefully”.

Man!! Is this IIM-L student council?? :-P

Puneet said...

well i dont relate to what you say, its such an extreme. guys in general dont behave the way you have put up, its just a miniscule minority but you've potrayed as if the entire men community is rogue. while i sympathise with you and the events that occured(empathy would be a better word) i dont agree with what you have put up here.

Puneet said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Darth Midnightmare said...

1. What is it with Anonymous?
2. Who gives a flying f*** for Councils, counsels and the like?
3. Generalizations seldom fail to induce apathy and sound merely like a bitter rant under a veil.
4. It was a PGP17 that was suspended for a year for posting offensive stuff, not a PGP18...

Anonymous said...

waah...after reading this i'm like.....is this really an IIM??

Gaurav said...

hats off to ur guts...i agree that what u have written is reality...keep writing...probably thats one effort that can bring forth what women want to get across men,,,

Anonymous said...

i know wat u mean!!!... i judt dont get the reason for their superiority complex!!!