A Higher Power

Do I believe in God? This is a question I have still not been able to answer. Like most people, I'd remember God in times when I needed Him the most. But as I grew older I realized that I was being mighty selfish. What was to happen when life was smooth sailing and I didn't need to pray for help? Did I just ignore him? Unfortunately, I answered "yes".

So I decided to pray everyday. Atleast that way when I needed help and guidance it wouldn't seem selfish. But this itself was inherently selfish. It was then that i battled within me to figure out whether I believed in God or not.

Frankly, I still don't know. I do believe in the presence of a higher power. Many people prefer to call that God. I, for one, prefer not to give it a name. As long as I believe in the existence of that something, I feel somewhat secure.

Perhaps what I'm talking about is not present and has been conjured up by the human mind. As a species we may prefer not to take responsibility for what happens in our lives. We may not want to acknowledge the fact that we are the sole reason for whatever turns our lives take. Believing in an invisible entity could be our way of shifting responsibility and enabling ourselves to point the accusing finger at someone, someone who cannot point it back. By believing in God, we are absolving ourselves of all blame.

But we still seek solace in that higher being, that being that I cannot give form or a name to. I too believe that I am being watched over.