Spirit

I finally got too tired to fight anymore. I'm not one to give up. But when all of them surround you and leave no way to escape, you have no option but to succumb to them. I did resist for a long time. Even when there seemed no way out. But they seemed hell bent on having their way. I ended up bowing my head to them. But not once did I admit that I was wrong, for I never was.

Well, here I am at home. I'm supposed to be "recuperating" but am far from it. I'm due at the Hell Hole in another 2 months. Am I looking forward to it? Ironically, I am.

Lyrics from one of my favourite songs remind me of a better time:

"When the going starts to get rough
And you feel like you've had enough
Let the music take control of your soul
Take a chance and do what you feel
You're a force they cannot live without it
You gotta break the chain yeah yeah
There's a passion inside
An inner strength that drives
Can't nobody take that away from you
It's the greatest high
You set the floor on fire
When you come alive"

I seem to have lost some part of my spirit the day I stopped dancing. I confess that I wasn't amongst the best they had. But I loved being there. For that little amount of time I forgot what or who was around me. Once the music played it was heaven. I've tried many times to match that atmosphere. But all in vain.

The other part of my spirit was lost when I had to cut short my life-long dream. In fact, I didn't really have to cut it short - prolong it is what I had to do. Either way...the damage has been done.